ages and ages ago, a friend of mine scoped over my new livejournal layout and informed me that i have an exceptional ability to utilize colors.
a past professor, in all of his afrocentric, cowboy-booted glory, wrote on the back of a particularly difficult midterm exam bubble sheet, "i REALLY like your colors today, ms. latchford!"
countless coworkers exclaim, "oh! that scarf looks so good with your hair i could NEVER WEAR THAT!!!!"

this leads me to wonder, as of late, wether i've been wasting some hidden talent whilst (i really love using whilst instead of while) theorizing my brain to bits to attain a goddamned degree in Sociology.

patellar tendonitis

phew. i busted my knee. my body is getting old, falling apart. I BUSTED MY KNEE WHILST DANCING, MY FAVORITE PASTIME OF ALL TIME!!!! i suppose being almost 26 means that your body starts falling apart? have you ever been able to not use a muscle in your body? its fucking strange. i am a helpless gimp with a man servant and a big screen tv playing endless sex and the city episodes. i have cabin fever.

winter whites winter whines
my cats do not know winter as i do: they also do not know hate.

last night, as fever waxed and waned through my body, thoughts of the ages of our souls came up. perhaps delirium from the combination of black tea and cold medicine fueled it: thoughts that seemed poetic and justified just ended up as forgotten as silence. we are old souls in an old apartment on an old street; we are old friends. monsters and idiots are haunting my dreams, products of eating too late at night and that rediculous anxiety over whether someone is going to smash a glass on the floor or over our heads. i no longer feel sorry for the situation: fact is, i NEVER did. so ha ha.
i gave many a thing to many a person; you've got to give to get back; but i never got back, really. this time around is different. there has never been more understanding. balanced and creative and perfect.

i've waited a long time, honestly.

ocala schmocala

my mom, aunt, cousin, and baby second cousin took a shopping trip, as all women i guess do on pseudo-vacations; even though we are in Retirementville, FL, the reason being my uncle is dead, wherein my mother insisted that she buy me anything i picked out (awesome!) including mascara that promises "4X BRIGHTER EYES!" even though, and i say this in a truthful, modest tone; i do not need brighter eyes. even after a night of heavy drinking or when i get eyelash glue in them and they feel like they are bleeding.

my second cousin is one and a half, and he refers to me as Lee Lee, because he is adorable. my dad went fishing today without me; i was really looking forward to it more than i was pointlessly spending money on a pair of levi's that i most likely will not like once i get home. i want to show my father that i can fish; it is important for me to do before he gets TOO old. for christ's sake, he already has titanium knees.

i have found myself in more sane of a spot than ever before. soon to be twenty six the most awesome of ages where everything has clicked together and makes total sense. i have, in the past year, felt a very many things fall apart, had the best summer of my entire life, moved my best friend from los angeles to my sweet, sad hometown, raged, raged, and raged, saw friends drift away, brought new friends closer, found an amazing job, almost graduated from college (finally, in may,) and set out on mission: impossible which turned into HOLY SHIT what was i thinking two years ago when i could have dated him but didnt and now that i am, things have never been more perfect?, had my life threatened, got chased on a bike, and fell in super huge love. im not even that girl that i used to be when i would be afraid to even say it. i say it all the time, because its true and wonderful.