goodbye, asshole

Ol' blue bastard! You were a curse from the beginning, and there was never a day that passed that I didn't think about how much I loathed you.
Oh, sure. You made it ALL THE WAY to Brooklyn and back; big whoop! All I can remember are those right hand turns that you so lovingly stalled out on, without any regard for my safety: entrance ramps to the 33, the tallest one-lane stretch of the Scajaquada, or just out-and-about in dangerous neighborhoods. To think I put my one and only Kit Bowman sticker on your bumper, you filthy beast. You horror! Rot in the depths of junkyard piles with the rest of your cursed comrades.

best comic strip ever made.
wondermark.com

<3

summer street

jesus christ i was so happy today while driving on the skyway with a different, more reliable vehicle even with the knowledge that i could, potentially, fly right off the edge of that skyway and DIE. but i was not even SCARED of that thought as much as i am about what people say about me behind my back, or who at the credit card company laughs the hardest when they see my credit score, or what's coming in the mail from some long-lost roommate, or if i have pink eye, or WHAT THE FUCK GAS IS FOUR DOLLARS A GALLON AND I NEED ELEVEN GALLONS THAT IS ONE QUARTER OF MY CURRENT PAYCHECK, or you or her or him or them.

ok thank you, world. the chill left and now it's nothing but sweat and sunshine and prospective tans (who am i kidding...i do not tan).
i would like a bicycle. why did you throw out my bike? i called you and called you and myspace messaged you and you still threw out my bike. it even had that little hamburger bell and it was a SCHWINN, a natalie-green schwinn! you threw it away and now i have no bike, and even if i DO live in lovejoy, i would still throughly enjoy riding it all over downtown with friends...that way, i wouldnt have to listen to my muffler scar my eardrums or subject people to the strange things growing on the floor of my car.

(hey everyone! i have nasal polyps http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasal_polyps and a deviated septum http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deviated_septum !!!!!!

surgery is inevitable, so i guess i didn't really need my bike right away. it's just that i never got over it; the throwing away of the (my) bike.

oh

when will this goddamned CHILL leave already?
i've been getting hundreds that i don't really expect and it's complicated because i'm not entirely sure i deserve them but who am i to question the highly-educated educators?
i suppose i DO have nice hands; thank you
the rest of you have a choice of seeking absolution or risking never holding a place again.

my thoughts on Episode 9 of Season 4 of the Office

I REVOKE ALL STATEMENTS I MADE CONCERNING EPISODE NINE OF THE FOURTH SEASON OF THE OFFICE UPON CAREFUL CONSIDERATION CONSIDERING IT WAS A REALLY GOOD EPISODE CHOCK FULL OF WELL DONE EVIL LOOKS AND PAINFUL SITUATIONS.

if people heard the things i say to my cats...