in this endless winter, i see that i have chosen the proper lighting in my bedroom. yes, this lamp is from st.vincent de paul and the shade is from some other sort of thrift store. no matter the time of day or glum bluster there is outside, i can safely turn the knob just one notch and illuminate my room so that it feels like 8pm on a friday evening, with him playing the guitar in the dining room and a stomach full of date-dinner, cats cuddled up on the bed. covers thrown about.

on another, more professional note, it has been stated that i have an excellent ethnographic eye, and little was said about my faults within my drag queen study. Lauren Berlant's The Female Complaint proved to be a lengthy read yet completely understandable.

this is the first time i've come home to find you sleeping already. tucked in tight; a little sushi roll of light green wrapping and brown bean sprout hair. burt resting at the foot of the bed, lazily eyed me as i tossed ALL of my things in the laundry basket at the foot of the bed. i will most likely throw all of them out of it in the morning in search of something ultimately important; like keys. when you snore i feel bad for the insides of your nose, but i can't help those, because i am not small enough to fit inside. you just stopped snoring. am i sending blog vibes?! BLOG VIBES!

ages and ages ago, a friend of mine scoped over my new livejournal layout and informed me that i have an exceptional ability to utilize colors.
a past professor, in all of his afrocentric, cowboy-booted glory, wrote on the back of a particularly difficult midterm exam bubble sheet, "i REALLY like your colors today, ms. latchford!"
countless coworkers exclaim, "oh! that scarf looks so good with your hair i could NEVER WEAR THAT!!!!"

this leads me to wonder, as of late, wether i've been wasting some hidden talent whilst (i really love using whilst instead of while) theorizing my brain to bits to attain a goddamned degree in Sociology.

patellar tendonitis

phew. i busted my knee. my body is getting old, falling apart. I BUSTED MY KNEE WHILST DANCING, MY FAVORITE PASTIME OF ALL TIME!!!! i suppose being almost 26 means that your body starts falling apart? have you ever been able to not use a muscle in your body? its fucking strange. i am a helpless gimp with a man servant and a big screen tv playing endless sex and the city episodes. i have cabin fever.

winter whites winter whines
my cats do not know winter as i do: they also do not know hate.

last night, as fever waxed and waned through my body, thoughts of the ages of our souls came up. perhaps delirium from the combination of black tea and cold medicine fueled it: thoughts that seemed poetic and justified just ended up as forgotten as silence. we are old souls in an old apartment on an old street; we are old friends. monsters and idiots are haunting my dreams, products of eating too late at night and that rediculous anxiety over whether someone is going to smash a glass on the floor or over our heads. i no longer feel sorry for the situation: fact is, i NEVER did. so ha ha.
i gave many a thing to many a person; you've got to give to get back; but i never got back, really. this time around is different. there has never been more understanding. balanced and creative and perfect.

i've waited a long time, honestly.