i'd like to take some time to discuss what i think about the final contestants on project runway.

christian
HE IS NUMBER ONE ALLTIME BEST. he knows what kind of attitude gets you attention on reality tv. also, he may make blazers with the same type of sleeve, but they are LOVELY. he's adorable. i want to meet the person that gave him his haircut. he's going to win.

chris
he is fat and talented. i like that they brought him back, because he always has something cute to say, and he reminds me of a dude i used to work with at the gap. that makes me wonder if chris has the same fat-guy foot disease that the guy i knew had. i loved the little naps he's taken over these past 11 weeks.

jillian
BOR-RING. shes so dull! i forget that she's even there until someone makes fun of her. that's either really unfortunate editing, or she just happens to be one of those passive-aggressive girls i want to smack in the face.

romi
whatever, asshole. you already own a store in LA AND you've dressed jessica alba. i don't think you're trying hard enough OR listening to anything anyone is saying. bleh.

rasputin was a creature of infinite wonder and a life of irony.
born a middle child; raised an only child because of two deaths at the river.
he identified thieves!
he went to the monestary as a penance for theft.

oh, he was holy and he was hypnotizing and he was healing and he was heard of.
healing Tsarevich Alexei's bloody little body.
what a miracle! they said! get him in the government!

one day a big war came, and his time had come.
they laced his cakes with cyanide; he did not die!
they shot him in the back; he did not die!
they beat him mercilessly; he did not die!
they shot him four more times; he did not die!
they threw him in the icy river; he did die.

of nothing else but drowning.

there were claw marks on the ice!

there's a lot of love, but not the kind i need
you ever made a'soups out of pumpkin seeds?
there's a lot of skin and flesh i'd never should have seen
there's a lot of half-ways in between

there's a lot of stains i think i wish i'd done
there's a lot of leaves my true love gave to me

there is nothing in my brain

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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hello. meet lennard schuurmans.
pleased to meet you, lennard.

another thing about my dad:

here i am sitting in my parents house. my mom is petting the cat on her lap while i wait for the cake to cool off.
my dad is playing internet slot machines on the computer in the hallway, yelling:

"BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! YEAH! BONUS COME ON!"
and then.
and THEN!

"B-O-N-N-I-S BONUS!!!!!!!!!"

hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahhahaha
hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

-david shrigley

stop looking around instead of into.
it hurts my feelings. my armpits started sweating.
everything in the middle fell down to my feet.

i bought books upon books today.
or maybe just two.
one of which is The Beautiful and the Damned.