oh!
i will repeat positive over and over again, hopefully by doing so this mantra will eliminate most negative thinking. realistically, this feat is mostly impossible...but time is up for pathetic. pathetically (that is not a word, is it?) i am not it at all.

im thinking in circles, and at every single bend i fully believe that whatever emotion is encompassing me at that second (whether blindingly positive or debilitatingly negative) is absolute. today i am conciously stopping that method immediately. everything that upsets me/thrills is completely correct, in a way...it is only my reaction to this that causes emotional upset or ecstacy.

i didnt drink tonight.
ive been awake forever and rested just the same.

i will and delve deeper into what i study and reach personal satisfaction with my efforts.
i will study myself daily/hourly/secondly...but not minutely.
i will remain regimented, clean, organized; and the when the desired outcome is reached effortlessly, my skin will shine brighter and my hair will lay sweetly.
i will remember that loving anything at all is a simple and refined ability.