give me all your money and give me all your copies of Roseanne on DVD.
give me homemade cheese and let me borrow your car.
give me something to cut my cuticles with and give me my bowlcut from when i was 5.
give me teeth less crooked and a skylight.
give me an ultimate photograph and the benefit of a doubt.
give me best birthday wishes and prank call all those phone numbers people left in your yearbook.

n: ot
a: lot of
t:ime to
a:ttest that
l: oquaciousness is
i: ndicative of
e: veryone

aging eyes become milky and green;
this house with its back hallway hollowed out
bordering on collapsing and obscene.

we used to camp during tornados.
we used to laugh at the ping ping ping
and cry at the woosh bam pow fwwring.

lovejoy.
love + joy = lovejoy. or the guy from the simpsons.

i am in constant skin pain. hives are fucking retarded and I HATE THEM.
misery.

a series of fortunate events!

nothing to report that is of any significance, other than hivey, lacklustre skin, alcohol abuse, eye twitches, and center parts.
parting down the center is a sure way to get answers.
trust me; part it down the center. and stop lying to yourself.

this frigid weather is so tiresome, sunburn sounds like a relief.

well, slimfast...
in response to your current commercial during LOST (which, i might add, i dont usually watch,)
i, personally, believe in hip BONES. without the bones, you dont have the hips. its science. anatomy. if your leading men at slimfast dont realize that EVERYONE, including plus sized women, NEED hipbones, then you need to rethink their leadership skills. and your business. and your visual communication plan.





IN OTHER NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i will lie to the feds. or sing tony braxton. for you.