slip and slides were pretty harsh. what adult figured it was a good idea for a child to heave their bodies TO THE GROUND onto some plastic strip lubricated with water? i mean, youre basically trying to break a 6 year old's arms. you are throwing yourself onto the ground. after running from a fairly decent distance, after gaining speed.
they were fucking fun. chrissy, jenny, michael, my brother and i used to kill it on those things. michael had this genious idea...put the hose on the swingset slide and the slip-n-slide at the bottom. i thought it was amazing. i was only about 8 years old, and when i got to the top, i stood up. keep in mind, girls had perpetual bathing suit wedgies/saggy butts back then. my brother was in charge of turning the hose on as soon as we reached THREE. and s we all counted "ONE! TWO! THREEEEEE!" and i plugged my nose (????) and flopped my ass down on the slide. my asshole bipolar little brother didnt let the kink out of the hose and i ASS SQUEALED down to the bottom. narry a slip OR slide in sight.

last year, around this time, my best friend angela and i went on a trip to vegas to see my other best friend tim. the night we got there we had a little love affair with casino-side bevvies and Maddog 20/20. long story short, i attempted to do a "YEAH!!!" jump (you must know what those are) off of some concrete patio furniture on the way to the community pool and i busted my shit all over the pavement. i still went swimming (doye) beacause alcohol is the devil and i drove myself to the hospital the next morning to find out i seriously sprained it.

whatever, i still drank beers in the pool while crying on the inside.

anyways! 3 lortabs, one cast, and crutches later, EVERYONE in vegas decides its time to rig a giant tarp onto this hill in a public park and turn the sprinkler system on, thus making THE SLIP-N-SLIDE that broke my heart.




can you imagine not being able to slid down this thing? i was wearing a damned dress, fainted from taking too many lortabs without drinking water in 120 degree heat. these kids were wasted, flipping down the hill. they were holding hands. surfing. somersaulting. fuck.


to make up for all the negativity associated with water and soap covered plastic...you must rent me this:

WTF!